Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
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you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
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Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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