Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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