Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
