Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Never underestimate the power of titties
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
