Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize