You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize