How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Found the puke drawer
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
