OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
