ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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