I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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