just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
