i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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