I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize