Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Can I color on your dick again?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
