when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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