Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
