Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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