Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
