You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
