I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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