Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
