Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cat gives me a boner
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize