he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
