At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
