My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
