you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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