She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
