Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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