Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
whose parrot is this?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
