i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
