how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
