I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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