She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
false alarm, still single
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize