come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
