I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize