Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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