If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
