I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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