In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I want a musical about memes.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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