I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
