a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
