his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
