I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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