all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
