if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I love having hate sex.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
