The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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