porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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