youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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