a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
