im gay
i know
yea but for you.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize