I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
