Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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