and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
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He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
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Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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