i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize